More on Michael Jackson and Me

Thoughts of Michael Jackson and me often come into my mental purview, as they have for my entire life. I have always known that I have a special connection with him, and not just as a fan, but as a successor, as a spiritual sibling or twin flame. When I see him, I see myself, and not from the ego’s perspective, but from the depth of my soul.

The latest thought that came through was that Michael Jackson was performative, and maybe that’s what’s different about me.

Disclaimer: Even though I’ve made this disclaimer before, I will do it again here for the newbies: I am not comparing my physical expression or creative manifestations to Michael’s, I am comparing the mission of using music to encourage positive change in humanity.

Michael Jackson was, from the perspective of the average viewer at the time, a performer. His music and shows were performative in the traditional sense of being “staged,” being separate from reality. My music and shows are not.

My intention is not to create an escape to another world. It is to transform this world into a different, brighter one. My music and “performance” is a reshaping of this exact moment, this current world, this current time and place. It is a conjuring of a higher vibration.

I understand this is exactly what Michael Jackson was doing, but to the rest of the world, because he was still just a product of the music business, he was just an entertainer, and no one was looking to him for help with their personal, interpersonal, communal or global problems. He was a community caregiver and an unconditional source of love through entertainment. (And of course I am not discounting what he did with his money and influence outside of music itself!) This was all wonderful for the world. His impact is still echoing and rippling, and will likely do so at the level of Jesus Christ for a thousand years to come.

Now I can’t speak for him, but I would assume that to him, it was more than a performance. I would assume that his music and performance was reality, it was life. It was translating, transmuting and expressing energy. That is what made and continues to make his work stand out.

However, the world’s audience still thought of him as performing–as an act–and because of this filter, they could choose (though many chose not) to distance themselves from the messages conveyed in Michael’s songs and performances. They could choose to write them off in the way they write off a movie or book as fiction. His messages were compartmentalized in this way, like all other forms of “fictional” entertainment media, but his energy and performance pushed at the walls of that compartment in such a way that it couldn’t be explained or processed through typical sociocultural dialogue or canon. That is why people were passing out at his shows. That is why he manifested the biggest pre-internet fandom ever. (The Beatles manifested fanatics as a phenomenon, but MJ’s went to another level.)

MJ took care of these fans, and the key difference that I am getting at here is that Michael (and the machine behind him) allowed them, for the most part, to keep their safety bubble intact – I don’t.

What I mean by safety bubble is that the machine made sure the fans knew that music isn’t the real world and that MJ was just performing. Of course, the machine couldn’t stop MJ from trying to break that fourth wall, but we know what happened when he tried too hard. I have come, tearing out of the gate, beaming the message that music is reality, EVERYTHING is reality, I am not an actor, performer or entertainer–I am channeling, living and meaning these songs beyond the context of a shortform clip; beyond the context of music as a consumable distraction. (Which, it was not in MJs time, but now, that is what most popular music is.)

I’ve got the talent, I’ve got the songs, I’ve got everything one would need, but the one thing I don’t have is a filter.

This is partially because for so long we, as creators, have been encouraged to do and share so much outside of the music. In the beginning, this allowed me to explore what I had to say without putting it into a song. I was able to be blunt with my words, which helped solidify the pillar of my “brand,” and start to create a followable, consumable narrative.

The flipside of that freedom is that it puts me in an exposed place and subjects me to the judgement that comes along with such vulnerable exposure. I am sure that many people have loved my songs but then heard my opinion on society or heard the true message behind a song and then chose to stop being a fan. Michael Jackson did not have social media. He had, from day one, a carefully curated public image and public relations strategies in place to make him appear as perfect and likable as possible. That is something I had not considered until recently.

Because I understand the depth of his intentions and messages, I figured my road would be similar, even if at a different scale. I believed that people would comprehend the messages in the music and then come along for the ride outside of the music. Boy, was I wrong.

Besides people not even understanding the messages in music like they used to, many people do not want to come along for the ride when they see what I’m riding with and the path I am on. (Some do, though, and those are who I am focusing on.)

With Michael, there was no path to follow, there was no behind the scenes–there was just stardom and the untouchability of his existence. This created a global icon. This afforded him to become a legend, but also isolated him. Ironically, though socially isolated, he did not have a private life, which haunted and distorted his reality from the very start. The funny thing is, I don’t need as much of a private life, per se. At least not in the way that most people on Earth do. I let it all hang out, because that is what the new world needs: full transparency. We do not want public relations telling a controlled story anymore, and that is why I still remain confident that my “brand” will eventually catch fire and lift me to the place where I can start making a real, widespread impact on society and humanity through music.

Michael moved mountains with music, and if it happened once, it can happen again.